BMC sponsored graffiti - an alternative

This morning, over my kadak pau and chai, I was greeted with the news (in the Mumbai Mirror) that the BMC planned to send surveyors around to conduct a survey for the Unique Identification project that is the current baby of the redoubtable Mr Nandan Nilekani of erstwhile Infosys fame. (As an aside, why is "Unique Id" abbreviated to UID? Makes it sound like a birth control device. Should be UI, would sound intelligent.) The news item reported that the surveyors would make chalk marks on the walls of the buildings that they survey and that anyone tampering with these chalk marks faces a fine of Rs.1000.

There are so many things wrong with that, I don't know where to begin. But let's try anyway.

One, why is the BMC disfiguring the walls of my building? It's bad enough that courier guys come around and scribble my name and phone number on my door and next to it. Now, the BMC wants to come and do that too and, to add insult to injury, fine me if I clean my own property. I thought one of the things the BMC was supposed to do was clean up the city not promote graffiti on private property.

Two, how does a marking on my wall help the Ward Officer or Mr. Nilekani or his cohorts when they are back sitting in their own offices at their desks? They can't see it, they don't know if it's really there, they don't know what it really is... how the devil does it help?

Three, if it's supposed to prove that the survey has been carried out, a scribble on a wall does no such thing. Anyone can scribble on a wall, and plenty do anyway.

Four, if it's some kind of memory aid to let other surveyors know the survey has been done or not, surely there are less intrusive and destructive and more efficient methods of doing this. (See below.)

Five, the UID is supposed to be a voluntary scheme - read its charter if you want corroboration - so what's with these threats of fines and the like?

Six, this initiative is spearheaded by no one less than a technocrat - one of the country's leading technocrats at that. Surely he and his merry band could come up with a technology solution for this.

Well, I could, so I'm sure he can do better.

Here's my alternative:

First some facts:

• All the surveyors surely have cell phones (that's a given, even the sweeper in my building has one). 
• Mr Nilekani has oodles of tech expertise at his beck and call (and companies like TCS and Infosys are falling over themselves to get in on the UID project). 
• The BMC has maps, surveys, records, whatever of the various wards in the cities and knows which buildings are where and which slums are where (of course it does, get real, that's its core).

Now, do this:

• Establish an internal protocol for identifying each dwelling unit on the basis of the area, building, floor, flat/door number and make sure all your surveyors know how to use this. Give them laminated how-to sheets so they can refer to it in the field.
• Make a deal with the cellcos for a reduced rate on a special SMS scheme restricted to the cell phones of these surveyors and/or to/from a specified number.
• Tie that number up to a server and a database (companies do this all the time - SMS whoever if you want this offer, and so on).
• Get one of the aforementioned tech experts to write the required software (this is not rocket science, believe me - insurance companies, credit card companies, banks, contest companies do it all the time).
• When a surveyor lands up at a doorstep and does the survey, she sends an SMS to the server with the dwelling code (based on the internal protocol) and a simple DONE or NOT DONE message. If you want to get fancy and depending upon what it is that they are surveying, she can also send the results of the survey ("4 male adults, 2 female adults, 1.5 brats"), but that would be icing on the cake.
• The server records that in its database and the survey moves on.
• If a surveyor comes back fifteen days later and can't remember whether she surveyed flat 23, she sends an SMS to the server with the dwelling code and it checks its database and replies with a MEH, DONE or a DO IT NOW, YOU SILLY ASS message.

Benefits:

No new equipment required on the field, just your simple everyday cellphone.

BMC gets a centralised database of dwellings (imagine the joy that can provide when it comes to slum dwelling cut off dates which change with the phases of the moon, figuring out which building collapsed during which monsoon).

BMC saves paper, chalk, time, space.

My wall stays clean (well, as clean as it possibly can in the City of Grime).

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