BMC sponsored graffiti - an alternative

This morning, over my kadak pau and chai, I was greeted with the news (in the Mumbai Mirror) that the BMC planned to send surveyors around to conduct a survey for the Unique Identification project that is the current baby of the redoubtable Mr Nandan Nilekani of erstwhile Infosys fame. (As an aside, why is "Unique Id" abbreviated to UID? Makes it sound like a birth control device. Should be UI, would sound intelligent.) The news item reported that the surveyors would make chalk marks on the walls of the buildings that they survey and that anyone tampering with these chalk marks faces a fine of Rs.1000.

There are so many things wrong with that, I don't know where to begin. But let's try anyway.

One, why is the BMC disfiguring the walls of my building? It's bad enough that courier guys come around and scribble my name and phone number on my door and next to it. Now, the BMC wants to come and do that too and, to add insult to injury, fine me if I clean my own property. I thought one of the things the BMC was supposed to do was clean up the city not promote graffiti on private property.

Two, how does a marking on my wall help the Ward Officer or Mr. Nilekani or his cohorts when they are back sitting in their own offices at their desks? They can't see it, they don't know if it's really there, they don't know what it really is... how the devil does it help?

Three, if it's supposed to prove that the survey has been carried out, a scribble on a wall does no such thing. Anyone can scribble on a wall, and plenty do anyway.

Four, if it's some kind of memory aid to let other surveyors know the survey has been done or not, surely there are less intrusive and destructive and more efficient methods of doing this. (See below.)

Five, the UID is supposed to be a voluntary scheme - read its charter if you want corroboration - so what's with these threats of fines and the like?

Six, this initiative is spearheaded by no one less than a technocrat - one of the country's leading technocrats at that. Surely he and his merry band could come up with a technology solution for this.

Well, I could, so I'm sure he can do better.

Here's my alternative:

First some facts:

• All the surveyors surely have cell phones (that's a given, even the sweeper in my building has one). 
• Mr Nilekani has oodles of tech expertise at his beck and call (and companies like TCS and Infosys are falling over themselves to get in on the UID project). 
• The BMC has maps, surveys, records, whatever of the various wards in the cities and knows which buildings are where and which slums are where (of course it does, get real, that's its core).

Now, do this:

• Establish an internal protocol for identifying each dwelling unit on the basis of the area, building, floor, flat/door number and make sure all your surveyors know how to use this. Give them laminated how-to sheets so they can refer to it in the field.
• Make a deal with the cellcos for a reduced rate on a special SMS scheme restricted to the cell phones of these surveyors and/or to/from a specified number.
• Tie that number up to a server and a database (companies do this all the time - SMS whoever if you want this offer, and so on).
• Get one of the aforementioned tech experts to write the required software (this is not rocket science, believe me - insurance companies, credit card companies, banks, contest companies do it all the time).
• When a surveyor lands up at a doorstep and does the survey, she sends an SMS to the server with the dwelling code (based on the internal protocol) and a simple DONE or NOT DONE message. If you want to get fancy and depending upon what it is that they are surveying, she can also send the results of the survey ("4 male adults, 2 female adults, 1.5 brats"), but that would be icing on the cake.
• The server records that in its database and the survey moves on.
• If a surveyor comes back fifteen days later and can't remember whether she surveyed flat 23, she sends an SMS to the server with the dwelling code and it checks its database and replies with a MEH, DONE or a DO IT NOW, YOU SILLY ASS message.

Benefits:

No new equipment required on the field, just your simple everyday cellphone.

BMC gets a centralised database of dwellings (imagine the joy that can provide when it comes to slum dwelling cut off dates which change with the phases of the moon, figuring out which building collapsed during which monsoon).

BMC saves paper, chalk, time, space.

My wall stays clean (well, as clean as it possibly can in the City of Grime).

Posted via email from the blog posterous

My Name is NOT Khan

Today I received a forwarded email letter penned (do we 'finger' emails rather than 'pen' them?) by a Mr. Arindam Bandyopadhyay taking Mr. Shahrukh Khan to task for some of his recent remarks. Much as I did not want to jump into this fray, for some reason this email was the final straw that precipitated the email I sent back to the sender of the forwarded email.

I hesitate to reproduce the forwarded email in full in this blog both for space reasons (my own email is long enough!) but also because I have no wish to get into a copyright argument with anyone. If you wish to read it, please email me and I will happily forward it on. However, I have reproduced below my email (correcting a couple of silly typos). I hope it strikes a chord with whoever reads this.

Open letter to all (please forward as you see fit)

I trust that all who have diligently circulated the well-meaning and well-researched epistle from Shri Arindam Bandyopadhyay (AB) will do the same with this email. If possible, please include AB's original email which is below this one [not in the blog], since that contains links to other information on the web (and following those links and reading the comments below them is a sorry reminder that to use a computer all you need are fingers, a mind is optional).

I hold no brief for Shri Shahrukh Khan (SRK) or, indeed for AB, but just as each of them is entitled to their point of view, I trust that I am entitled to mine.

I followed the link to the DNA India site that contained the remarks made by SRK. On reading the penultimate paragraph I was struck by the language used and I quote it below in full:

Khan felt that the youth should circumvent all that is said about India and Pakistan by the politicians and say, "It (Pakistan) is a great neighbour to have. We are great neighbours, They are good neighbours. Let us love each other."

Read it again, please. If the writing is accurate, and there is no reason to suppose it isn't, what is actually being reported is that SRK is proposing a point of view that is entirely in keeping with that of such enlightened thinkers as Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jesus Christ and indeed, with the basic tenets of Hinduism. And for those who have trouble remembering the latter (or dispute my remembrance of them), I recommend the following links:

http://hinduism.about.com/cs/basics/ht/idealhindu.htm [particularly item 12], and

http://gurudeva.org/basics/nineb/ [items 8 and 9, in particular]

Re-read the quoted paragraph. "Khan felt that the youth should... say," that Pakistan is a good neighbour and etc.

It sounds to me as if he is proposing a way forward out of this horrible, miasmic, quagmire that we of the subcontinent have been bequeathed by our ancestors. He is proposing that the youth, the ones who have to live with this going forward, make a breakthrough in solving this dirty problem that has killed millions and continues to poison every step we take towards 'normalising' relations with our neighbours.

It does not appear that SRK is "claiming that [Pakistan] is a great neighbour". Some unintentional misreporting by AB, there. It looks more as if he is trying to employ some positive psychology by getting the youth of this country to start thinking positively about a neighbour that we cannot simply wish away. Much the same appears to be the motivation behind the recent Times of India initiative, Aman ki Asha, to foster friendship between the peoples of India and Pakistan. The reasoning appears to be that we cannot put generations of hatred and enmity behind us in a day, but if we are to do so ultimately, we have to start somewhere. (Btw, wonderful choice of word, that: Asha, hope - that's all we have today.)

It is a geographical fact that we have Pakistan as a neighbour (and arguably the most troublesome one, though businessmen and economists are probably more worried about China and perhaps, rightfully so). We cannot wish that away. We have to live with it. So, sooner or later (probably much later), we are going to have to learn how to co-exist with them. And do so, despite the terrorists and the narrow-minded bigots (on both sides of the border), and the mealy-mouthed politicians, and the trigger-happy revengeful idiots (on both sides of the border). No country has a monopoly on idiocy (though some try very hard to corner the market).

Let us sell our share of idiocy and try to build a bull market in common sense. Please give it a thought.

As Karan Thapar is wont to say (paraphrased), "if you have been, thanks for reading".

sd/-

I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it. (attributed to Voltaire)

[And as I write this blog, the TV is on and Karan Thapar is discussing a possible Government response to the Pune blast with a couple of wonderfully articulate policy wonks (I haven't caught their names yet). Is restraint a sign of weakness or strength? The consensus appears to be that a heightened response plays right into the hands of the terrorists and those elements in the Pakistan government that support or sponsor them. Common sense appears to be prevailing. Thank you, whoever.]

Interesting twitularity stats

Thanks to Shashi Tharoor's tweets, I came upon tweeple.in which has a ranking of Indian tweeters by popularity as measured by the number of followers. There are strange things to be discovered if you scan the top ten list (and doubtless stranger things if you go further).

For starters, the number one position goes to Padmasree Warrier, the CTO of Cisco, with close to 1.5 million followers. I'm sure she's a great CTO and Cisco is certainly a company to be reckoned with, but it is more a B2B company than the sort of company one would have thought the aam janata would be interested in and ditto for the role of CTO - not exactly one to set the heart thumping or the imagination whirring or the loins stirring. Either Ms Padmasree is a heck of a tweeter or I'm missing something in this tweeting business. I shall follow her tweets to find out more.

[Update: On closer inspection, she's listed as being in California, so I would think a fair chunk of her followers are the techies in the biz looking to see what Cisco is up to. Makes more sense.]

Number two on the list, and a mere 200k followers behind, Om Malik, a venture capitalist. Hello? Again, not exactly the kind of profession I would have thought would grab the masses.

Shashi Tharoor, writer, diplomat and politician, comes in at number three. I think he should be higher up, but this ranking is the first that makes sense. Politics is important business in India, so an interest in politicians is understandable. But he's the only politician in the top 20 (probably the only tweeting Indian politician, in fact). Speaks volumes for the accessibility of Indian politicians both to their fans and to technology.

Four, is Vir Sanghvi, journalist, political and social commentator, writer and five is Deepak Chopra, new age Guru and writer - makes sense. One can fathom their popularity.

Six, yes, outside the top five, six is where we find our first film star and she is not Amitabh or Shahrukh or Aamir, but the delightfully nicknamed Piggy Chops - Priyanka Chopra. So much to wonder about here. No film star in the top five. Priyanka more popular than Shahrukh. An actress more popular than the actors.

Shahrukh Khan or Shah Rukh Khan, as he's listed himself, comes in a good three spots down at number nine, barely squeezing into the top ten, beaten by a marketing consultant (patently good at marketing himself) and a web techie.

Ten is the redoubtable Karan Johar, who restores the film profession's standing by enabling them to grab 30% of the top ten. There are four more film stars in the top 20, giving them a 35% ranking share. More in tune with one's perceptions of the importance of film stars to the average Indian's life.

Barkha Dutt and Chetan Bhagat are the only non-filmi names I recognise in the top 20.

Surprising omission: No cricketer or cricket commentator. C'mon guys, whatever happened to 'cricket as religion'? Not techno-literate enough, are we?

Interesting aside on self-descriptions: Priyanka describes herself as 'Da Real Deal' in block capitals, no less. Shahid Kapoor feels the need to describe himself as 'Actor - Indian Film Industry' and Sonam Kapoor as 'a female actor'. Gul Panag is an 'actor' among other things. Whatever happened to the word 'actress'? No longer politically correct, I guess. What a shame we forsake precision for politics.

Deepak Chopra, Shah Rukh Khan and Karan Johar feel no need to describe themselves. Their names speak for themselves. Way to go, guys!

And I just love Shah Rukh's handle - iamsrk. Say no more.

Aside on 'twitularity': I thought I had serendipitously coined this word, but mistrusting my genius (rightfully so), I Googled 'twitularity' and found it's been used to denote a 'new humanity' as in singularity, twitularity and as shorthand for 'twitter popularity' which is my use of the word.

Posted via email from the blog posterous